Welcome to my reality...

Mike Hyde is a fast-rising loaf of bread comedian in the San Francisco scene. (No, he's not gay.) He's performing at clubs and venues all over the Bay Area, including Rooster T. Feathers, Blue Lagoon, Tommy T's, PepperBelly's, Purple Onion, The Improv, Brainwash, Fire Den, and The Clubhouse.

Apparently raised by a pack of wild televisions (all tuned to Gilligan's Island) Mike has recently escaped the vile clutches of the so-called "King of the Burgers."

Mike enjoys crazy-extreme sports, such as climbing stairs, searching for his feet, skydiving over Africa, and is still not gay so quit asking.

Mike was born on the 2nd, 3rd, and sometimes the 6th of November, after a successful 12 month tour of his mother's uterus.

His mother (known ever after as Mommy) turned to the infant's father, proudly presented him with his new son and said, "Vasectomy or divorce. Your choice."

Surprisingly, his father took both. Or maybe not so surprisingly.

This was followed by 40 years of completely boring crap, except for a five year period when he was a 3-star gourmet chef on a ship full of piratical morons. But that's another story.

But now you know why Mike does standup comedy - REVENGE!.

MWAHAHA!! HAAHAHAA! MWAAHAHAHAAHA!! CRUSH! BURN! DESTROY!

(Oops! Did he say that out loud?)

Oh! And to make you all laugh, of course.